What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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