What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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