What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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