What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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