What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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