What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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