What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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