What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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