What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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