What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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