What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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