What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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