What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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