What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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