What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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