What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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