What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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