What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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