What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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