What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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