What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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