What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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