What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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