What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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