What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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