What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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