What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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