What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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