What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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