What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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