What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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