What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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