What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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