What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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