What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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