What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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