What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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