What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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