What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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