What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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