What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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