What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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