What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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