What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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