What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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