What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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