What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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