What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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