What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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