What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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