What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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