What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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