What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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