What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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