What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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