What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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