What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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