What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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