What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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