What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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