What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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