What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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