What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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