What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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