What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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