What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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