What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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