What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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