What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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