What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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