What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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