What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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