What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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