What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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