What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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