What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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