What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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