What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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