What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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