What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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