What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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