What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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