What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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