What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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A seal walks into a club...
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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