What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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