What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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