What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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