What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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