What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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