What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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