What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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