What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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