What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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