What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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