What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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