What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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