What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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