What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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