What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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