What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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