What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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