What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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