What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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