What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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