What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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