What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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