What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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