What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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