What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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