What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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