What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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