What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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