What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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