What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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