What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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