What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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