What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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