What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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