What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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