What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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