What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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