What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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