What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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