What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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