What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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