What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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