What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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