What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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