What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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