What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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