What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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