What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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