What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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