What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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