What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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