What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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