What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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