What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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