What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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