What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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