What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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