What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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