What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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