What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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