What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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