What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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