What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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