What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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