What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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