What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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