What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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