What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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