What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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