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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?
To the mooooooovies.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?
Nice belt!
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What goes up and down but never moves?
Stairs.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would go up.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,
I just can't think of one atm.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?
Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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