What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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