What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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