What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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