What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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