What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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