What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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