What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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