What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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