What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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