What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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