What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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