What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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