What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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