What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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