What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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