What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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