What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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