What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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