What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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