What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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