What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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