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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?
With a cowculator.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,
I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?
He was feeling a Lil Weezy
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A dino-sewer.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?
One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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