What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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