What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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