What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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