What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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