What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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