What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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