What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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