What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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