What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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