What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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