What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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