What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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