What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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