What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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