What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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