What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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