What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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