What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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