What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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