What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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