What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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