What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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