What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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