What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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