What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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