What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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