What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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