What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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