What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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