What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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