What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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