What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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