What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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