What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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