What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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