What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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