What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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