What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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