What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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