What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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