What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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