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What is the most important rule in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?
A screwdriver.
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Went to the paper shop -
it had blown away.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?
Slippers!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three skunks fighting over a pickle
First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?
A puddle!
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