What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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