What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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