What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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