What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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