What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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