What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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