What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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