What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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