What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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