What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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