What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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