What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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