What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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