What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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