What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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