What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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