What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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