What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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