What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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