What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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