What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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