What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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