What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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