What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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