What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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