What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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