What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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