What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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