What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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