What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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