What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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