What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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