What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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