What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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