What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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