What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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