What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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