What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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