What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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