What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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