What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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