What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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