What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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