What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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