What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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