What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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