What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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