What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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