What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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