What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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