What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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