What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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