What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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