What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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