What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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