What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

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