What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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