What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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