What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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