What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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