What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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