What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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