What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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