What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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