What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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