What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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