What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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