What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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