What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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