What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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