What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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