What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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