What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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