What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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