What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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