What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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