What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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