What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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