What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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