What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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