What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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