What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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