What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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