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What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A hush puppy.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils.
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?
Squash
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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