What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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