What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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