What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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