What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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