What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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