What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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