What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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