What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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