What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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