What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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