What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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