What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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