What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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