What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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