What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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