What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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