What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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