What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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