What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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