What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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