What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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