What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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