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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?
Sandy Claws.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?
A swordfish
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?
A funky chicken.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?
You can count on me!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer!
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