What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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