What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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