What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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