What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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