What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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