What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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