What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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