What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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