What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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