What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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