What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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