What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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