What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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