What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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