What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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