What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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