What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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