What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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