What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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