What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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