What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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