What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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