What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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