What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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