What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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