What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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