What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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