What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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