What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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