What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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