What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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