What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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