What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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