What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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