What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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