What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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