What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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