What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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