What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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