What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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