What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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