What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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