What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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