What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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