What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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