What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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