What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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