What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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