What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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