What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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