What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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