What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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