What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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