What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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