What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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