What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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