What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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