What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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