What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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