What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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