What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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