What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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