What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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