What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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