What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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