What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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