What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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