What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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