What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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