What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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