What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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