What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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