What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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