What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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