What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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