What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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