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What kind of flower has lips?
Two-lips!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"
Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin sea.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?
Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?
Ant-elopes!
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