What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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