What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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