What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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