What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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