What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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