What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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