What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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