What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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