What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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