What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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