Two-lips!
or
but I couldn't find any.
or
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
or
Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
or
100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
or
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
or