What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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