What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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