What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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