What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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