What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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