What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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