What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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