What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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