What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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