What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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