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What kind of flower has lips?
Two-lips!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?
Catfish
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What do camels use to hide themselves?
Camelflauge
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C
and still be 0k?
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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