What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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