What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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