What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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