What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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