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What kind of flower has lips?
Two-lips!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in there.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?
Because each player raises a racquet.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.
So I went - and I got it.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?
Velcrow.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer.
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Why did the calendar write its will?
Its days were numbered.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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