What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.

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