What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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