What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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