What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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