What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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