What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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