What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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