What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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