What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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