What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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