What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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