What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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