What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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