What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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