What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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