What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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