What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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