What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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