What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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