What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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