What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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