What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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