What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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