What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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