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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights!
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Which is the most religious cheese?
Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?
Meat and Democrats!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
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What is a frog's favorite year?
Leap Year
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What element is derived from a Norse god?
Thorium.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?
The Elfabet.
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What is Claustrophobia?
The fear of Santa Claus.
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