What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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