What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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