What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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