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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?
He took them to a pignic.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in there.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?
A jury.
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Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?
It needed a root canal.
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