What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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