What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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