What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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