What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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