What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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