What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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