What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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