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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
Flood lights!
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What do you call a sad bird?
A bluebird!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?
To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?
Decalfinated
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
It saves time in the long run.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite
He said NaBrO
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
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