What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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