What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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