What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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