What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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