What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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