What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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