What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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