What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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