What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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