What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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