What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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