What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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