What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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