What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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