What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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