What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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