What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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