What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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