What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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