What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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