What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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