What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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