What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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