What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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