What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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