What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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