What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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