What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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