What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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