What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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