What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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