What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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