What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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