What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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