What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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