What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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