What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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