What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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