What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.

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