What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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