What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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