What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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