What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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