What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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