What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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