What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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