What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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