What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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