What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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