What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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