What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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