What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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