What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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