What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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