What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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