What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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