What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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