What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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