What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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