What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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