What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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