What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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