What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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