What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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