What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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