What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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