What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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