What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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