What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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