What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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