What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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