Neptunes!
or
Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
or
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
or
Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
or
Catillacs
or
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
or
Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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She stole his heart.
or
One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
or