What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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