What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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