What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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