What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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