What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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