What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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