What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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