What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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