What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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