What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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