What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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