What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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