What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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