What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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