What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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