What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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