What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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