What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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