What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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