What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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