What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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