What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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