What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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