What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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