What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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