What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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