What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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