What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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