What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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