What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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