What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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