What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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