What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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