What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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