What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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