What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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