What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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