What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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