What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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