What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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