What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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