What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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