What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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