What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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