What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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