What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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