What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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