What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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