What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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