What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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