What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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