What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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