What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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