What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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