What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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