What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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