What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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