What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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