What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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