What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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