What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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