What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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