What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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