What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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