What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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