What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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