What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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