What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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