What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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