What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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