What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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