What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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