What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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