What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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