What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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