What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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