What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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