What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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