What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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