What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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