What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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