What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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