What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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