What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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