What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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