What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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