What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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