What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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