What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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