What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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