What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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