What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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