What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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