What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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