What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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