What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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