What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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