What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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