What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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