What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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