What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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