What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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