What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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