What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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