What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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