What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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