What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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