What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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