What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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