What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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