What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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