What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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