What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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