What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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