What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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