What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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