What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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