What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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