What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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