What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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