What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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