What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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