What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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