What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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