What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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