What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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