What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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