What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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