What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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