What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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