What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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