What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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