What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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