What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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