What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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