What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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