What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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