What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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