What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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