What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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