What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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