What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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