What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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