What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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