What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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