What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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