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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?
News briefs.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
To get to the other size!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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