What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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