What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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