What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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