What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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