What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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