What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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