What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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