What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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