What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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