What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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