What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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