What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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