What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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