What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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