What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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