What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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