What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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