What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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