What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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