What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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