What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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