What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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