What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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