What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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