What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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