What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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