What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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