What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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