What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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