What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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