What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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