What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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