What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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