What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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