What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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