What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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