What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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