What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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