What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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