What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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