What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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