What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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