What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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