What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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