What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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