What letter can you drink?

T (tea)

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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