What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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