What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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