What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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