What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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