What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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