What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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