What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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