What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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