What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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