What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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