What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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