What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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