What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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