What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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