What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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A seal walks into a club...
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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