What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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