What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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