What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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