What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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