What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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