What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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