What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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