What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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