What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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