What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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