What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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