What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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