What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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