What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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