What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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