What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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