What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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