What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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