What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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