What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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