What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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