What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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