What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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