What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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