What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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