What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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