What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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