What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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