What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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