What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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