What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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