What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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