What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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