What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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