What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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