What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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