What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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