What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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