What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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