What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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