What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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