What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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