What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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