What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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