What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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