What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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