What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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