What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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