What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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