What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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