What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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