What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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