What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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