What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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