What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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