What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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