What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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