What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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