What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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