What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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