What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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