What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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