What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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