What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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