What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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