What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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