What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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