What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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