What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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