What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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