What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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