What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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