What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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