What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.


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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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