What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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