What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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