What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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