What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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