What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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