What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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