What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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