What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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