What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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