What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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