What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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