What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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A seal walks into a club...
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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