What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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