What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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