What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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