What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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