What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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