What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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