What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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