What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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