What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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