What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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