What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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