What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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