What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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