What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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