What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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