What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?

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