What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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