What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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