What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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