What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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