What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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