What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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