What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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