What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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